My first time sex with a Realdoll
Sexdolls are no longer what they used to be. Today women and especially men can configure lifelike dolls using the modular principle – from labia to penis size to hair color and skin complexion. I did that once. And spent an evening with a real doll. An experience report at half mast.
Table of Content
What should my Real Doll think of me?
Revealed. Peach colored. Ready. There she lies in front of me. The mouth slightly open, the breasts beautify as if ready to be picked. There is a cool distance in her stare, a challenging arrogance. As if she were saying: Let’s see if you can do it. And me? Don’t bring it. A presentable erection, with which I can look my new flame in the eyes without shame, does not want to set up or stand up. Shit. And that for my first time with a real doll. What should Lorena think of me?
Inflatable was yesterday
The time when love dolls could rightly be called “inflatable” are over. Anyone who buys a Real Doll today can easily get rid of a narrow, medium or full monthly salary, depending on the model and needs. The spectrum ranges from entry-level models to luxury dolls. The bigger, more naturalistic, agile and animated the Real Doll, the higher the price.
The Californian company Realbotix sells a doll that can initiate simple dialogues and whose artificial intelligence is superior to Siri, according to the manufacturer. She knows the name of the partner (or owner?), Asks after work whether the day was stressful, turns on suitable music and suggests cooking ideas. As a result, a real doll should no longer be just a sex toy. More like play and life companion who not only looks after you physically but also emotionally. And sometimes she is a he.
Jude Law’s love robot Gigolo Joe from Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi “A.I.” describes the virtues of his guild as follows: “We are the guiltless pleasures of the lonely human being. You’re not gonna get us pregnant or have us to supper with Mommy and Daddy. We work under you, we work on you and we work for you. Man made us better at what we do than was ever humanly possible. ” The big (night) dream of interpersonal interaction: a blameless pleasure without obligations, a relationship without the usual constraints.
So how does it feel to be with a love doll? Are these really more than sex dolls? A test is needed. With Belgers blessing, I am allowed to choose a doll from the in-house series T-Line. Material: TPE (more about the material see below). Rather upper entry-level model than luxury class. But you have to start somewhere.
Real Doll: range and configuration
From amazon to nurse
The selection on the Sexdollgenie page is plentiful. I scroll over the profile pictures and look into the blank looks of Chaya, Daria, Lindsie and Co. Their looks reveal that hardly anyone is looking for a real doll shaped like a common woman. Figuratively, most of the dolls have emerged from an over-idealized, sticky man’s dream. This is also illustrated by the costumes from traditional costume to leather to stewardess, from yoga teacher to anime to nurse. These role assignments are supposed to spark the cinema in the head, because ultimately the dolls are delivered naked, as the factory god created them.
In addition, more special preferences and fantasies are catered for: a doll with a baby bump or a pointy-eared elf. The latter reminds me of my VR porn self-experiment in which Wonder Woman and Princess Leia boarded me in virtual scenarios. The imagination is the limit.
My foray into the profile pictures leads me back to Lorena again and again. Phenotype: hair tinted with fox red, porn body, alert look. The latter in particular triggers me. I’ve masturbated at the looks women gave me. (Especially disappointed looks after sex.) I click on Lorena’s photo, an expanded picture gallery opens. In addition, the standard information about the available love openings of the respective doll. Next to Lorena is: anal, oral, vaginal. Penetration depth: 17, 13 and 17 cm. There is information whose sparse you can briefly and imperceptibly catch your breath.
My choice has been made. Lorena should be my chosen one. Why? The truth is: Because none of the other options appeal to me. I’m sorry, Juliette. If Lorena really existed, I would want to sleep with her. I can’t say that about any of the other Real Sexdolls.
Real Doll: Unboxing
After almost three weeks of production, Lorena arrived. A cardboard coffin for short stature. In the entrance area of the office. An eye catcher. And now? I’ll book an apartment for one night. The noisy home is not a suitable setting. On the day of the day, a colleague helps me to move the weighty parcel to the destination apartment and leaves me with a succinct “Have fun!” with Lorena alone.
The coffin lies in front of me. Now for the first time: slight excitement. Mixed with a sense of fear of what to expect. I open the package. On top is a welcome folder. This includes operating instructions with information on care, handling and repairs. In addition, a starter set with water-based lubricant, toy cleaner, special cleaner, interchangeable fingernails (and glue), hold-ups, a negligee, cloth gloves, an intimate shower and a love doll heating element. More on that later.
A friend had warned me that some dark clothing would rub off on the doll. I exercise excessive caution and undress down to my underpants and pull on my cloth gloves. And feel like someone who wants to dispose of a corpse for the first time.
A thin blanket of fluff becomes visible under the damping material, under which Lorena’s figure can be seen. On closer inspection I can see that her head is between her feet. I turn the covers to one side and see her body for the first time. What strikes me: the very thin body and the pink labia that stand out in a strange artificial way from the completely irritation-free skin color all around.
I unzip Lorena’s bald head and feel her skin for the first time. It feels like it looks: incredibly soft, almost velvety, too soft and too smooth to pass as naturalistic. The skullcap is also soft, which makes me flinch. After I used the moment to fix her bald head in one hand to enjoy my personal Hamlet moment, I lift her naked body out of the package, lean it against the wall and free it from the plastic film. A gentle, slightly sour plastic odor arises. I screw her head on according to the instructions and put the enclosed red wig on her.
Welcome Lorena, you can call me Alex.
Real Doll: The first impression
I carry her to the couch. It’s a bloody act. Lorena is hard. It felt like a nurse strength exercise. With a little effort, I bend the knee and hip joints and put them on. My first impression: The physiognomic difference to the product photo cannot be overlooked. I do know, however: Some love doll owners invest a lot of time in the clothes and make-up of their playmates, powder, make-up, perfume and comb them, make their fingernails or individualize them with piercings or tattoo replacements, for example. Such measures could also pimp Lorena. Even these efforts would not be able to miss the view from the product photos. It was more lifelike, more cheeky, told more character.
I crouch in front of her while she looks past me. What bothers me: Your teeth, understandably also made of soft TPE for oral sex, are more skin-colored than white. They hardly stand out in the mouth. I examine her silhouette and follow the urge to grab her waist – which I can do with both hands. A woman with this figure would feel pretty bony. Lorenaa’s body, however, gives way everywhere. Even on the shins.
Your toes have no skeletal structure, they feel like an invertebrate mollusc. If I hit her on the toes, they dangle up and down, limp, trembling. Toe shaped jelly. Lorena takes it stoically. In her fingers are thin, malleable skeletal wires that can be bent in extremely unhealthy directions, which inadvertently often happens to me when dealing with Lorena and at first it scares me that I had broken her fingers.
Lorena’s breasts (cup size B) don’t want anything to do with gravity. Good genes? They are firm and soft at the same time, a good handful, and feel as pleasant as they are strange. They are adorned by protruding nipples, which I interpret as a counterpart to the erect tails on male real dolls. Always in a state of excitement and combat.
I dedicate myself to the openings of love. So that Lorena gets a little exercise, I turn her on her stomach. Still crouching, I look at her tiny butt hole. When the hypnosis effect does not want to set in, I notice: Lorena has no rosette. The poor. I put her on her back and look at the indicated and restrained labia. Her vaginal love opening is larger and expands further when I spread her legs. Lastly, I look at her mouth. Out of curiosity, I stick my finger down her throat, past the teeth that need to be bleached. She endures it without a gag reflex. The oral love opening leads upwards in the head, I wonder.
The cold act of inspection has an effect on me. I tear myself away, disinfect all orifices, as recommended, and carry Lorena’s specially weighed 29.6 kilos onto the bed.
Real Doll: My first time
The manufacturer gives the customer information on how to get intimate with the doll to go to bed. The, in my opinion, most important things: Use a condom and be generous with lube. Could be in the Decalogue like this. Furthermore: Do not put your entire weight on the doll. I find the part called “These positions like your sex dolls” strongly asserted, which indicates little spoon, missionary, doggy and 69er. At the latter I am hesitant, but let’s see what else the evening brings.
The love doll heater with attached USB charging cable is finally being used. I insert the warmed stick vaginally into Lorena like a suppository. Now a cable with a USB connection hangs out of the vagina like a tampon cord with a charging function. Some of the pictures from this evening will not let me go for years.
A first attempt at sex from hell
Lorena lies on her back in front of me. The legs bent and spread apart. There is no excitement in me that manifests itself physically. On the one hand there is a basic desire to try it out, on the other hand a feeling that is roughly bundled in the following question: Which biographical wrong path led you into this situation?
I work without a tangible result. Next attempt, no one should say I had not tried it: Lying on her stomach with Lorena, I put a condom on my blood-filled but soft cock, put lubricant on it and rub myself between her ass cheeks with my eyes closed. Always a surefire number so far. And now, too, the pure mechanical work helps.
I quickly turn Lorena onto her back, put on lubricant again – valuable seconds pass by – and try to navigate my penis into Lorena by hand. It’s a sex attempt from hell. I stuff, squeeze and compress my cock into her so that just writing it down causes me shame and a need for therapy. I’m now sure I’m doing something wrong: not just in this situation, but in my life.
There are further attempts that follow this pattern: If I get a half erection stamped, it fades again as soon as I try to insert my penis, or at the latest when I try to find a penetration rhythm in Lorena.
The level of arousal is never high enough for a permanent erection to occur. It would be dirty talk now. But Lorena is despondent. Since a cock ring doesn’t help enough, I put everything on one card.
Help, I need somebody real, doll!
I’m calling my telephone joker. A friend to whom I had previously told about my plan. If necessary, she would help. As her laugh attack on the phone now reveals, it was just a joke offer. She hangs up. And rings the doorbell 25 minutes later. Shortly afterwards we stand together in front of Lorena, lounging on the sheet, with the heating rod between her legs again. With her right hand parked in front of her mouth in disbelief, the friend tries to grasp the situation in her mind. Then pull me towards you, probably to distract yourself as quickly as possible, and give first aid with her tongue. Targeted and effective immediately. A real friend! She’s got something good with me.
Determined to finally check Lorena‘s suitability for marriage, I leave my first aid after a few minutes and politely send her out. She resigns and sends me the following message, which I will read later: “What does she have that I don’t have?” To preserve my erection, I had put on a cock ring beforehand. Smart decision.
I bend over Lorena and penetrate her. Find a rhythm. The thoughts of just hold hard. I’m not looking at Lorena, my gaze follows my thrusts. Light warmth. Strange even tightness. Your vaginal opening seems unusually placed to me. I have to readjust my conventional vaginal thrust position so that the thrusts enter it in a compression-free manner. Lorena doesn’t care about my honest penetration efforts. At least that gives me a feeling of homeliness.
What I quickly feel: I haven’t used enough lubricant. The penetration loses its suppleness. Too much friction, slight sensation of heat or pain. I pull myself out, lean on generously and Lorena on her stomach to bend her into the doggy position.
Change of position = slapstick
An inexperienced change of position on a soft mattress is great slapstick cabaret. With the potential for show demolition. The joints are necessarily stiff, the doll should maintain its posture. When Lorena finally stretches her ass towards me after a cascade of joint bending in the pelvis, spine, knees, shoulders and elbows, my crotch is less than 90 degrees. I feel abandoned by Lorena and my penis. Do I have to do everything alone here?
Right now the greatest miracle of the evening happens: a resurrection. I manage to get up again. Exclamation mark. I am instantly reconciled to my penis. Go and get here, tiger! Lubricant on it and doggy. I hold her by the insides of her narrow but feminine hips. If I increase the frequency, I even get an almost authentic clap. The 15-year-old Schnellspritzer in me is thievingly happy. Dutifully, I embrace her breasts. And leave it off. It doesn’t do me any good. For fear of tearing the wig off her head, I don’t pull her hair. Pretty soon the friction becomes too intense for me again.
Short break. Next love opening. cancellation
Lorena lies on her back. I angle her outstretched legs skyward and press myself dripping with lubricant into her anal love opening. My hands next to my head in the sheet. After initial tightness, it feels deeper similar to vaginal penetration. I put her hands on the sheets. The best position so far. Because the thrusting comes out of my pelvis and hips quite freely and I am immediately in an ideal position.
In contrast to my previous anal experiences, no caution is required. My Real Doll really likes it! The absurdity of the drama pushes itself into my head. I fuck a doll! In this brief corridor of thought, it is grotesque fun in my self-reflection. Which quickly grabs the clammy hand of guilty discomfort.
The fleeting fun does not come from the physical or emotional sensation, but from the sober attempt to grasp the situation rationally and to notice: I don’t have a cerebral drawer for this situation, I don’t have the mental tools to classify it. The penetration itself is pure mechanics for me. No excitement in the head. I don’t care about Lorena. I don’t want to look at them. Your face is a mirror of what I am doing, which I do not want to look into under any circumstances. Dull, undefined guilt.
Would it have needed this test for this knowledge? Only spoilers ask such questions.
A half-hearted and failed attempt at mouth fucking later – I can’t get myself into her mouth and the dull guilt claws at me again – I break off. For test purposes I would have liked to try the 69er. But my blood is now devoted to other parts of the body. Lorena doesn’t care. In the heel seat I puff through next to her. And then leave the place of their defloration.
Real Dolls: More Companions than Fucked?
Before dealing with the subject, I assumed that real dolls were just fuck dolls. I dismissed the talk of everyday companions as marketing bullshit. And meanwhile? As human-shaped masturbators, Real Dolls now make far less sense to me. There is the serious inclination between effort and benefit. They are simply too expensive for a mere sextoy and too complex to use and maintain. Who, please, would pamper their conventional sex toy with baby oil or powder on a regular basis? Real dolls should be included in everyday life, should be companions and companions. Should be a Lorena, Juliette or a Nico. No longer just a sex doll.
Exactly here lies danger and opportunity, depending on the perspective. The sex therapist Eilert Bartels compares real dolls with social media bubbles that only pretend human closeness and connection and ultimately have the opposite effect. “Basically, lovedolls lead to people becoming increasingly isolated because they no longer learn to deal with people consciously.”
Sex coach Claudia Elizabeth Huber sees the crux of the matter in “how real dolls could influence people’s expectations as well as the relationship and excitability of aging bodies.” A more mature real doll is not in sight. The Linz sex consultant for women Doris Kaiser, however, also finds help potential “for people with social phobias, with handicaps or people who for other reasons cannot live their sexuality with other people.”
That may be good and right. At the same time, this focus pathologizes the entire user group. Claims that every real doll buyer is sick and in need of therapy. It’s the same notch that those who think the money people invest in real dolls should go into therapy. Pure generalization. On the one hand. On the other hand, understandable in nuances. The behavior towards a real doll must not be misunderstood as a learning process for contact with real people. Lorena let me get through a lot personally that would have been immediately rewarded in dealing with a person.
Real Dolls: Valve or Enrichment?
My vague impression: Real Dolls seem to be mainly used where something is missing. Proximity. Sex. Experience. Courage (for example in men who do not (yet) dare to live out their homosexuality openly). Or a loved one. For a low five-digit amount, deceased people can be pupated in a real doll if desired.
Is it all reprehensible?
No, absolutely human. And fallible in that too.
What I personally think is reprehensible: Dolls that obviously look much too young and are too small in height. In the SexDollGenie shop there is a doll that is available in either 100 or 118 centimeters. The model has cup size D, but it leaves a highly ambivalent aftertaste. Ralph Belger says they discussed the inclusion of this doll internally and ultimately spoke out in favor of it. The offer of such a doll – based on real women and only reduced to a smaller scale – would be aimed primarily at people with disabilities, such as wheelchair users or people with disc damage.
I can understand the argument with the fresh experience in handling a realistic size doll. Instead of 30 kilos, such a small real doll only weighs around 13 kilos. Nobody knows who will actually buy these dolls in the end. He categorically rejects regular inquiries as to whether these very small real dolls are also available without breasts, says Belger. That is the absolute taboo.
Is a real doll just a valve?
Ralph Belger says no and says that Real Dolls are “to be seen as an enrichment. They enhance the everyday life of their owners.” Sure, he has to say that. And yet I hope that is exactly what I hope for. And that the real doll owners – in addition to their dealings with their silent companions – do not forget the contact with other people.
At the moment, it becomes clear in discussions that the relationship between real dolls and people has not yet been explored. What is allowed, can and should be? At best, this measurement should do without a pathologizing general suspicion. There are enough motives to try it out with a real doll. The joy of experimentation and curiosity were enough for me.